Govt: You can now report traffic violators.
Me: Excellent. I’ve been waiting to fine that one guy who reverses without checking his mirrors and also my landlord, for emotional damage.

In a plot twist straight out of a middle-class fever dream, the Indian government has officially rolled out M-Parivahan, an app that lets citizens become pseudo-traffic cops. You see someone breaking traffic rules? Snap it, upload it, and boom, they might just get an e-challan.
No badge. No training. Just vibes, outrage, and your phone camera.



So... You're Telling Me I Can Now Be Batman in a Polo T-shirt?

Basically, the app lets you, yes you, the person who’s been rage-whispering at honkers since 2010 play watchdog. Not just rant on Instagram stories, but actually send evidence of traffic violations to the authorities.

No license plate visible? No challan. No helmet? Big challan. Triple riding with a cigarette in one hand and vibes in the other? Immediate action.

It’s like Swiggy Instamart, but for justice.



Pros: Accountability. Cons: Desi Passive-Aggression on Steroids.

Sure, on paper, it’s great. Less corruption. More accountability. You don’t need to chase down a traffic cop anymore, you ARE the traffic cop.
But have you met us? The same society that debates in WhatsApp groups about “moral values” and secretly films their neighbour’s parking habits? Yeah. It’s giving neighborhood Aunties actual power now.

This will be misused faster than a housing society gym.
Picture this:
“You didn’t invite me to your kid’s birthday party?”
click
“Oops. That looks like a double-parking offense.”

Let’s Just Hope This Doesn’t Escalate

Because if this becomes a trend, we’ll soon have:

  • Swachh Bharat Snitch Mode: Upload your neighbour’s garbage pile. Get them fined.
  • Power Cut Police: Report electricity hogs.
  • Noise Pollution Patrol: Chal ja, DJ Wale Babu.

Next up: “Rent-Overcharging Watchdog” so I can finally challan my landlord for calling 8x8 rooms a “spacious 1BHK.”

The Bigger Question: Why Do We Need Citizens to Police Each Other?

Because real talk, shouldn’t trained professionals be doing this? Shouldn’t traffic systems be… functional on their own without relying on citizen surveillance?

This feels less like empowerment and more like the state outsourcing responsibility like saying, “Fix your roads, but also fill the potholes yourself.”

If the government trusts us with monitoring traffic, can we also:

  • Approve or reject budget allocations?
  • Audit MLA travel expenses?
  • Ban Bollywood remakes?

No? Then maybe, just maybe, don’t make us do your job without the paycheck.

We’re One App Away from Becoming an Episode of Roadies

There’s a fine line between civic participation and chaotic street justice. And that line’s about to be crossed every time someone doesn’t use their indicator.

So yes, I’ll use the app. But I’ll also keep asking the real questions:
Why do I feel more powerful reporting a biker without a helmet than I do voting?

And no, I still can’t fine my landlord. But a girl can dream.